Santa's Strategist Pillows

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

The other days of the year...

"Friday, YOU were my Secret Santa?"

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

'Let's take a minute to allow the bad karma of the old regime to lift.'

Father Christmas deciding whether the Tory Party are naughty or nice.

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

'Let's see what Santa has in his sack for a little boy or girl...'

'Technically, you do qualify for five weeks of vacation, but your request for 35 Sundays off has to go under review.'

'What I want for Christmas can be found in the Russel 2000 index of small-fry funds.'

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

"It's only weeks to Christmas. We have him right where we want him."

"This is Stan, He's helping us look beneath the surface of reality to transcendent truths, in order to make a buck."

'...Santa delivers to Yorkshire first...everybody else has to wait because they're not as good.'

"With your rhetorical skills, young man, do you realize that you could become a mogul?"

North Pole Adult Toy Testing Lab

S&M woman has hung up stockings and put milk and cookies on the floor for Santa in a dogbowl

Singing Father Christmases.

Help Support Santa Off-Season

"Could you forward it to my offshore account?"

'Dear Santa, I can explain...'

Noughts and crosses.

' Remember Santa knows when you've been good or bad!'

"It's got 160 horsepower. That's nearly 260 reindeer."

'Well, Santa may live at the North Pole, but these labels say his workshop is in China.'

Problems facing Church of England in UK.

Australia was Santa's biggest challenge.