Santa Claus Skeptic Gifts

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'

Claus 2.0

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

Elfie Stick

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I don't believe in you!"

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

Punk Reindeer

Yo ho ho!

Hot Tub Frosty

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

"I believe I you, Bigfoot."

Santa Claus Poops on the Chimney of the world.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

"I mind my mother, eat my broccoli and do my homework, but you won't tell the guys, will you?"

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

“Stop avoiding me. I know when you are sleeping. I know when you are awake.”

"We may be in trouble. . . the prosecutions expert witness can usually tell if a defendants been good or bad!"

NSA is coming to town.

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'