Santa Advocate Pillows

'You've been doing this at least since my Grandpa was a kid, and still no Nobel Prize?'

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

Santa Claus's Mail

Deforestation.

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

High security Santa's grotto

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Filming Christmas

Achiever: An illustration of how many thoughts she can have in a split second, while still listening to him.

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

Santa Dog

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

"Your membership entitles you to 15 books,45 posters,200 leaflets and umpteen stickers!"

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

Meet Santa's entourage

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Santa CGI Effect

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

"The Nominees"

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

'There is nobody else. I'm afraid we've wiped out all of the other species.'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'