Angel Advocate Pillows

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

"Who are you going to listen to? Me, or the boss from hell?"

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

Lawn darts never took off in Heaven

'She's responsible for the smoking ban.'

Heaven terms and conditions.

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

The Golfing Accident

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.