Santa's Little Lawyer Pillows

'Naughty or nice? I refuse to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate me.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

Santa's Helpers

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

A centipede's Christmas stockings

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

The other days of the year...

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

Shelf on an elf

Child on Christmas Eve

Father Christmas deciding whether the Tory Party are naughty or nice.

'If you ever need any help with your bookkeeping, I got an A in arithmetic!'

'...and it absolutely must be assembled!'

'I hear your distribution network is second to none.'

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

"It's only weeks to Christmas. We have him right where we want him."

Naughty-ometer.

'So that's why his nose is always red!'

Undercover Santa

Children Plead with Santa Claus

Really? Santa won't stop at your house if you're not asleep on Christmas eve? That sounds like a sort of entrapment to me!

'He says he's a friend of the Santa Claus.'

"It's just temporary, Comet, until Rudolph feels better."

Santa asks man if cholesterol is naught or nice.