Santa's Little Detective Pillows

Undercover Santa

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

Santa's Helpers

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

A centipede's Christmas stockings

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

Who stole my candy?

The other days of the year...

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

"Hey Ed, take a look at this...more sleigh bells...what is this thing?"

Child on Christmas Eve

Shelf on an elf

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

'...and it absolutely must be assembled!'

'If you ever need any help with your bookkeeping, I got an A in arithmetic!'

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

'I hear your distribution network is second to none.'

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"It's just temporary, Comet, until Rudolph feels better."

Naughty-ometer.

'So that's why his nose is always red!'

Really? Santa won't stop at your house if you're not asleep on Christmas eve? That sounds like a sort of entrapment to me!

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."