Santa's Little Detective Pillows

Undercover Santa

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Santa's Helpers

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

The other days of the year...

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

Who stole my candy?

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

"Hey Ed, take a look at this...more sleigh bells...what is this thing?"

Shelf on an elf

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

Child on Christmas Eve

'If you ever need any help with your bookkeeping, I got an A in arithmetic!'

'...and it absolutely must be assembled!'

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

'I hear your distribution network is second to none.'

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

Santa asks man if cholesterol is naught or nice.

'Of course, how else do you think we get off the ground? '

'So that's why his nose is always red!'

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."