Santa Advocate Gifts

'You've been doing this at least since my Grandpa was a kid, and still no Nobel Prize?'

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

Santa Claus's Mail

Deforestation.

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

High security Santa's grotto

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

Achiever: An illustration of how many thoughts she can have in a split second, while still listening to him.

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

Santa Dog

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

Filming Christmas

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

"Your membership entitles you to 15 books,45 posters,200 leaflets and umpteen stickers!"

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

Santa CGI Effect

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

"The Nominees"

Meet Santa's entourage

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

'There is nobody else. I'm afraid we've wiped out all of the other species.'