Sandwich Fan Pillows

'I'm not going out for lunch. I packed one today.'

Patio Melt

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

Apple Pie Abduction

Church Basement Foodie

The Da Vinci Cod

"What did Jesus order?"

You're my Venus

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Flan-eating bacteria

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

Rembrandt's Selfies

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."

"I'm not loitering officer, I 'm waiting for the next renaissance!"

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

'I'll take the S. O. S. breakfast special...hold the shingle.'

"If you can't see the sea I can recommend an optician in the High Street."

"I like blueberry, but still think the custard's funnier."

Ahh, Chicken Soup

Thomas Wyatt