Sand Company Worker Gifts

'Charlie, you've been dredging your sand from the golf courses again.'

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

Segregated Beach

Building giant sand pies.

'Let's call him lucky!'

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

'No surf?'

"I'm getting it registered as an historical landmark."

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

"Thanks again, kid!"

'Your resume is certainly impressive, Mr. Simmons, but do you have any on the job experience?'

"I think he may have progressed beyond just digging holes!!"

Deforestation in Romania

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

'The ecosystem can fend for itself, but you're blocking the tv.'

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

Home Heating Oil

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

'Can't you ever forget work?'

"We're raising royalties and we want vending machines every 200 feet."

'Bob, I was just trying to get you on the phone to see what all that noise outside was about.'

Another Victim of Beach Brain

'The sun is up. What do you feel like doing today?'

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

'Oh, yes! I can see it.'

'Dinosaur footprints!'

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

'Are you a good mixer?'

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

Men looking at oil rig - "Are they supposed to take off like that?"