Salty Snack Lover Gifts

Patient has a diganosis of high blood pressure, but comments, 'I take everything he says with a pinch of salt.'

"The last few salt & vinegar chips are always the sourest."

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Rage.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Love is when you watch television together.

Super Heroes.

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Love is when you watch television together.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'