Salsa Spinner T-Shirts

'And don't tread on my toes.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

Fish talking about fisherman

'We are so in sync!'

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

fairy tales

'The idea is to go where no man my age has gone before. I want to be the 'John Glenn' of Salsa.'

'So famous for her amazing fruit covered hats, Carmen Miranda's pineapple shoes were less well known.'

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

'Hold on, pal! Who's in control of the narrative here?'

Texas Dashboard Organizer

"The judges aren't too impressed!"

'R.I.P. Van Winkle, just sleeping.'

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

"Mas agua for the gringos?"

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

"Always exaggerate. It makes life seem more interesting."

'Who needs a measuring tape when you've got an imagination?'

Writers Block: "Day 24 and still no typewriter!"

Every App tells a story.

'I only hear good things from your spin doctors. . .'

"I think I know where we went wrong with this salsa routine...bad news, my back's locked up!"

"I know: what if we take that old 'got milk' slogan, but instead of using the word 'milk,' we'll insert the name of our own product."

Engraving on tomb of the unknown writer - The END.

'Your book is quite dull, so we're marketing it as a bedtime story.'

"I'm beginning to think it's salsa that's causing your mood swings."