Salon Aficionado T-Shirts

A Manicure

"I can always tell when someone invests in commodities futures."

Being Pampered.

A tree on the phone: 'Sorry Beth, you'll have to phone me back later. I'm about to get my roots done.'

Beauty Salon - 'Do you offer an after sales helpline service?'

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

The adoration of the gels.

Dressed for Success!

Ladies of the Creation! - No. VIII - Mary protecting the weaker sex

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Back to school.

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Be creative...!"

Beer Stall

A Macaroni in 1772

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

New Suit.

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

Happy thoughts

Out of kilter.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

The wind catches Congressman Blowviatt's jerkin.