Salmon Snackers T-Shirts

Lox Ness Monster

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Super Heroes.

"Fresh pepper?"

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

Love is when you watch television together.

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"You were right, I didn't want to stop."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Stupid Microwave

'Him' Watching the Game to Relax

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'