Salmon Lover T-Shirts

'You must learn that not everybody is a salmon.'

"It's my family coat of arms, Joe-smoked salmon couchant on a field of cream cheese."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Your lobster was off!

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

'Fancy a liquid lunch?'

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Civilized Salmon

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'Diet considerations.'

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

Dali Chooses a Lobster

Man indignant at having caught no fish

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Scuba diver in a fishmongers