Salad Snacker T-Shirts

Seven Layers.

'I don't know what to eat. All this junk's so bad for you. Whatever happened to that health food trend?'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"The bagels are better in New York."

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'Diet considerations.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

Breakfast surreal.

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

Sinking Sand

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

The famous Walled-off salad.

"You're the sport on my telly"

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'He left it to me. Isn't a double Salmanazar of '55 Chateau Cheval Blanc the perfect match with the side garden salad?'

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

"We grind our own catnip."

Lox Ness Monster

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

The real reason salad aids weight loss

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

'Waiter, this salad is obnoxious!' 'But, sir — you asked for French dressing!'

"Now, who ordered the salad?"