Salad Snacker Pillows

Seven Layers.

'I don't know what to eat. All this junk's so bad for you. Whatever happened to that health food trend?'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"The bagels are better in New York."

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Diet considerations.'

Breakfast surreal.

Sinking Sand

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"You're the sport on my telly"

The famous Walled-off salad.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'He left it to me. Isn't a double Salmanazar of '55 Chateau Cheval Blanc the perfect match with the side garden salad?'

Lox Ness Monster

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

The real reason salad aids weight loss

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

"We grind our own catnip."

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

'Waiter, this salad is obnoxious!' 'But, sir — you asked for French dressing!'