Sales Season Strategist T-Shirts

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"Mine's the same,Bert - d'you suppose the Sales are on?"

Larry's used art

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

Gerald Ratner's return

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

Brick Salesman

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

Entertainment systems

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

Sinking sales

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'