Sales Scout Gifts

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

Sales.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

Gerald Ratner's return

Orderly Conduct of Sales

Customer Convention

Good morning, Boss. What're you going to do about it, Park? Are you just going to complain, or are you going to come up with an actionable plan. Complainers never do, Park, and doers never complain. I wasn't actually complaining. Our patrons buy 65% less cocoa on sunny days.

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'You must have one arm shorter than the other.'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Entertainment systems

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Take five Harry, I'm going on ahead to scout for sales'

'Our giant sale now on!'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

Sales - "For the last time, stop saving us money." (Colour)