Salary Wizard Gifts

"That's how my boss looks when I ask for a raise."

"I sold your desk, phone, chair, and computer. The good news is I can now pay your salary for another month."

The president's men

The Shrinking Dollar.

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'You simply put up a minimum of $2,500. If the price of fish goes up, your investment goes up. If the price of the fish goes down, your investment goes down.'

'... No, you're not on the short list. You're not even on the long list.'

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

"Now at this point reality intruded."

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

Start the session by doing something unusual.

Pork Bellies.

"Today big pharma stocks rose on news 'down' is a state of mind that can be treated by pharmaceuticals."

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

'But the short term view is very good.'

The bucks stop here.

"When did this game get started?"

I got the raise

The New Square Mile Regulator.

'...All profits are local.'

'Wrong number. Sorry, I dialled my salary by mistake.'

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

"All agreed? We buy low and sell high."

"I'd like you to consider some of our exciting career opportunities working for anyone else but me."

"This has been quite a season for Zobrowsky—a hundred an twenty-nine receptions, sixteen touchdowns, a B-plus in English, a B in philosophy, an A in political science, and a B-minus in French!"