Salary Negotiation Survivor Pillows

'You want a raise? No problem! Just marry a virgin, beat a dragon and jump over the Moon!'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

"Is this about your raise?"

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

"Damn tail... now he's going to ask for more money."

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

"I'd like a raise, I can't afford to binge drink on what you pay me."

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

'Guess who's hinting for a raise?'

'You're asking for money? Now you're really pushing it.'

Tired of long hours and lousy pay, Bob begins a work-to-rule campaign.

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'

'How about a small rise?' - 'No, but how about a large reference?.'

"A delightful arrangement Miss Chalmers..."

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

I though I could depend on you Foster - and now you come in here and ask for a rise!

"I asked the boss for a raise..."

'Actually, Carruthers, if you take the world average income, you're grossly overpaid.'

'Think positively, Cavendish -- being grossly underpaid is excellent job security!'

'As with all the other candidates, if you could write your expected salary on this piece of paper, we can then move on to the next stage.'

Thank You for Not Bringing Up My Salary