Salary Negotiation Enthusiast Pillows

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

'Its going to be difficult to replace you. Especially on the salary we were paying.'

'Actually, Carruthers, if you take the world average income, you're grossly overpaid.'

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

"Does the job hold many challenges?"

"You're hired, starting pay is twenty bucks an hour, later it can go up to thirty."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'Salaries Manager. No.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

"Is this about your raise?"

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

"Before we begin, we'd like to remind you that we're an employee owned company."

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

"Your interest in the salary makes me wonder how 'self-motivated' you really are."

'My final offer.'

'If negotiations sour, throw a handful in his eyes.'

'Sir, for Heavens' sake, stop screaming! It's just Mr Winkleberger asking for a raise!'