Salary Negotiation Pillows

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

"Apparently, we don't negotiate for a pay rise anymore. We have to put forward a case for not taking a pay cut."

'We don't usually negotiate with agents to fill $25,000 a year positions.'

"Let's talk salary. How does Premier League footballer sound to you?"

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

"A delightful arrangement Miss Chalmers..."

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'

'Congratulations you have just made our one millionth request for a raise!'

'I demand a raise, and I have the muscle to back it up.'

'How about a small rise?' - 'No, but how about a large reference?.'

Unemployment Math

"Of course we pay a living wage....as long as you only live four days a week!"

"You can name your own salary. I'd suggest 'ridiculous' or 'pathetic'."

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

"You're hired, starting pay is twenty bucks an hour, later it can go up to thirty."

"I really want this job but I'll need a higher salary if I'm ever going to pay off my gambling debts."

The Evolution of the Bonus

'I can't hear you. Fred, did you get the raise?'

'Guess who's hinting for a raise?'

Flunkey asking for a larger salary and not happy to be compared to a lower order of clergy

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

'This new ruling on bankers pay has really thrown the cat among the pigeons...'

"I hear you're scheduled for your annual performance review today."

'I need to be properly appraised. If I'm going to sell out, I want full market value.'

"So that's a 'No' to a rise then?"

'We would also like an etra 24.' 'Okay, 4 each.'

'Regarding salary requirements...just how huge is your student debt?'

'My take home pay won't even take me home.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'