Salary Negotiation Survivor T-Shirts

'You want a raise? No problem! Just marry a virgin, beat a dragon and jump over the Moon!'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Is this about your raise?"

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

"Damn tail... now he's going to ask for more money."

"I'd like a raise, I can't afford to binge drink on what you pay me."

'Guess who's hinting for a raise?'

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

Tired of long hours and lousy pay, Bob begins a work-to-rule campaign.

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

'You're asking for money? Now you're really pushing it.'

I though I could depend on you Foster - and now you come in here and ask for a rise!

"I asked the boss for a raise..."

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

'As with all the other candidates, if you could write your expected salary on this piece of paper, we can then move on to the next stage.'

"A delightful arrangement Miss Chalmers..."

"That's how my boss looks when I ask for a raise."

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'

'Think positively, Cavendish -- being grossly underpaid is excellent job security!'

Thank You for Not Bringing Up My Salary

'How about a small rise?' - 'No, but how about a large reference?.'