Salary Negotiations Expert T-Shirts

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'Salaries Manager. No.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

"Is this about your raise?"

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."

"I'm getting tired of telling you you can't have a raise!"

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'Look, O'Brien, you can't just waltz in here like that and demand a raise.'

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

Management buy-out.

'Gibson, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

"Tell the staff that I wanted to increase their salary, but that box of donuts I purchased for the break room hurt us financially."

'You say you want to speak to me about a raise?'

'I can't give you a raise... but I can rent you a cubicle.'

'Sir, for Heavens' sake, stop screaming! It's just Mr Winkleberger asking for a raise!'