Salary Negotiations Expert T-Shirts

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'Salaries Manager. No.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

"Is this about your raise?"

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."

"I'm getting tired of telling you you can't have a raise!"

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'Look, O'Brien, you can't just waltz in here like that and demand a raise.'

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

'Gibson, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

Management buy-out.

'A raise? Listen, Pomeroy -- you know how I feel about clumsy attempts to fine-tune the economy!'

"Tell the staff that I wanted to increase their salary, but that box of donuts I purchased for the break room hurt us financially."

"Damn tail... now he's going to ask for more money."

'I can't give you a raise... but I can rent you a cubicle.'

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"