Salary Negotiation Strategist T-Shirts

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Armstrong, I've worked here for a long time and I think I deserve a raise. How about it?"

'As with all the other candidates, if you could write your expected salary on this piece of paper, we can then move on to the next stage.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'Salaries Manager. No.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"May I remind you that we can always go with duck eggs."

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

"Is this about your raise?"

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

'Do you think now's a good time to ask for a raise?' - 'I wouldn't if I was you. She gave me one this morning.'

'Salary requirement? -- Just keep me out of the top two percent.'

"These are 'small bucks,' Josh. You have to work here a long time to get the 'big bucks'."

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'