Salary Negotiation Wizard T-Shirts

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

A Quiet Rebuke.

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Is this about your raise?"

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

'Wrong number. Sorry, I dialled my salary by mistake.'

'Sir, we have a problem. The attorney section is totally overcrowded!' (demon to Satan)

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

"I'd like a raise, I can't afford to binge drink on what you pay me."

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

'You're asking for money? Now you're really pushing it.'

'Guess who's hinting for a raise?'

Tired of long hours and lousy pay, Bob begins a work-to-rule campaign.

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

"You'll be working entirely on commission. We were kidding about the salary."

'Actually, Carruthers, if you take the world average income, you're grossly overpaid.'

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'

"That's how my boss looks when I ask for a raise."

"A delightful arrangement Miss Chalmers..."

'These public sector types have no idea the way that things work in the real world!'

Thank You for Not Bringing Up My Salary

'As with all the other candidates, if you could write your expected salary on this piece of paper, we can then move on to the next stage.'

'How about a small rise?' - 'No, but how about a large reference?.'

"Apparently, we don't negotiate for a pay rise anymore. We have to put forward a case for not taking a pay cut."