Pay Negotiator T-Shirts

'I'm hoping to get a rise from my boss.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

Changing Minds

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'