Salary Negotiation Ace Pillows

'More money! Are you trying to take a rise out of me?'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Is this about your raise?"

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

'The contracts look good. Why don't you have your disgusting pests call my disgusting pests.'

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

"I'd like a raise, I can't afford to binge drink on what you pay me."

Tired of long hours and lousy pay, Bob begins a work-to-rule campaign.

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

'You're asking for money? Now you're really pushing it.'

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

'Guess who's hinting for a raise?'

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

'As with all the other candidates, if you could write your expected salary on this piece of paper, we can then move on to the next stage.'

"A delightful arrangement Miss Chalmers..."

Thank You for Not Bringing Up My Salary

"I asked the boss for a raise..."

Ban news chair

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

'How about a small rise?' - 'No, but how about a large reference?.'

'Actually, Carruthers, if you take the world average income, you're grossly overpaid.'

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'