Salary Jester Pillows

'Wrong number. Sorry, I dialled my salary by mistake.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Scapegoat of the Year

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'We don't have an opening at the moment, but if you'll wait one minute...'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

The breakup

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'Billy, you're embarrassing us. Please stop saying 'ka-ching, ka-ching'.'

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

"This is a work station, Jackson!"

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

I'm trying to figure out what drives you... A new company car would be nice.

'I worked briefly in a Fine-China shop, but it didn't work out...'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

"We've gleaned all we need to know about you from the internet, but we'll keep your resume as a great example of creative writing."

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

"Can't do them, sorry. I'm waiting for the paint to dry."

Never poke fun.

"Thanks for coming in again. Sorry about the last time. I must have pulled the wrong lever by mistake."

'I like the way you tick, Watkins!'