Profit Jester Pillows

'Could this mean that we're finally profitable?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Why markets crash.

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'Wait a minute....!

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'All right, gentlemen, this is the current picture of our growth industry!'

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

Investments.

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

'The bad news is that we're only in it for the money.'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

'I'm not saying he's going to chew you out, but he skipped breakfast and lunch.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'