Money Jester Pillows

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

"But If I had enough collateral to cover the amount of the loan, I wouldn't need the loan in the first place!"

'Billy, you're embarrassing us. Please stop saying 'ka-ching, ka-ching'.'

The funny side of inflation

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

Why markets crash.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"I managed to find a healthy work-life balance, but now there's a problem with my bank balance."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Wait a minute....!

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

'The bad news is that we're only in it for the money.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'Thanks for throwing out your ideas, Perkson, but I have to throw them out too.'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'