Salary Crusader Pillows

"The company nurse sent over Henderson because he has a pay raise deficiency."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

Two Players both holding the same cue.

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Nervous Student

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

"I told Mr Simmons there's something I wanted to get off my chest - his hands."

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

We have too many students! I know. Send them home!

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"I'd like to lose 35%of me!"

Been Injured In An Accident That Wasn't Your Fault! Call...Wilbur & Ohnson.

'Because I paid ten bucks for that lure, that's why.'

"According to IT, the security leak is coming from your workstation."

No.1 best-selling book on college campuses - 'How to say 'send money' in 101 languages'.

"It's a note from my teacher. I would have already read it, but it's in cursive."

Personal Calorie Counter

"We are getting an education, just not the one we paid for."

"I'm doing this for you, my loves."

'I said what I thought, then I apologized when I started losing advertisers. What does that make me?'

Under the car park.

It turns out nobody has anything to say.

"My dear woman...we don't pay you less because you're a woman...we pay you less because we're men!"

UCU University Lecturer's Strike

"Go away. I haven't had an accident that wasn't my fault in the last three years."

Snell & Dunberg: Attorneys at Law - Thank You Litigious Society