Salad Switcheroo Gifts

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Surprise in the salad bowl

'Diet considerations.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

Salad Hat

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

I've been on this green leafy diet for months...

'Waiter, this salad is obnoxious!' 'But, sir — you asked for French dressing!'

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

"You know, Mark, your tabouli salad makes us look bad."

Gustav Mahler orders a salad.

Tomatoes in the form of Toes

'One businessman's lunch and one secretary's salad.'

"You're not being punished, Kenny...Salad is what we're having for dinner."

"If you want extra virgin oil on the salad that's a £5 supplement...."

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

"Barkeeper! More chick-peas!"