Salad Switcheroo Gifts

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

'Diet considerations.'

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

Salad Hat

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

"You know, Mark, your tabouli salad makes us look bad."

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

'Waiter, this salad is obnoxious!' 'But, sir — you asked for French dressing!'

I've been on this green leafy diet for months...

How the Easter Bunny Spends Halloween.

Gustav Mahler orders a salad.

"You're not being punished, Kenny...Salad is what we're having for dinner."

'One businessman's lunch and one secretary's salad.'

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

'Dear, what if tonight I add watercress, sorrel and purslane to our salad

"Barkeeper! More chick-peas!"