Saint Veneration Pillows

St David's Day

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

Tiny Visions

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

Mother Earth

Gracie sees a plane on Christmas Eve and tells her dad Santa is flying it.

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

Saint Patrick

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

Next World Tours

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

Dec. 26

"If you're not a good boy, Santa will bring you only educational toys."

Jesus swept.

'Be good! Santa's watching!'

I heard a rumor that he's going to deliver presents using drones this year! I hope not! Drone technology is far less reliable than Rudolph and the other reindeer! And besides, Christmas eve won't be the same if the sound of sleigh bells is replaced by the buzzing of a drone! My big brother said if I don't make his bed for him every day, he'll hack into Santa's database and put me on the "naughty" list. I've never trusted his computer system. And e-mail. I ask for presents with a hard-copy

"Why the hell aren't you writing all this down?"

Pavlov's Dog at Christmas time...

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

'Het Dad, I don't need a bike from Santa anymore. I just found one behind your wardrobe!'

'After thousands of miles and millions of homes, I finally get to rela...'

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

"The lost password department's that way."

"Another one asking me to fix the climate crisis."

'You know, it's not good for kids' self-esteem to keep harping on about this 'naughty or nice' stuff.'

"Do you have all those things in stock?"

"If you don't bring me what I want, next year I'll go straight to the manufacturer in China!"