Saint Supporter Gifts

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

"Do you know what happened to my St. Pius figurine?"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Filming Christmas

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Santa Dog

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

Meet Santa's entourage

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

Gracie sees a plane on Christmas Eve and tells her dad Santa is flying it.

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

Please Give

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

"It's called a "sanctuary": they fixed my broken wing, took care of me for a few weeks, then released me. Amazing..."

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

'I really can't think of a blessed thing to preach about this morning, so I'll entertain questions from the floor.'

'Be good! Santa's watching!'

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

"I've given blood about 20 times. . ."