Saint Supporter Gifts

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

"Do you know what happened to my St. Pius figurine?"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

Santa Dog

Filming Christmas

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Meet Santa's entourage

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

Gracie sees a plane on Christmas Eve and tells her dad Santa is flying it.

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

Please Give

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

"It's called a "sanctuary": they fixed my broken wing, took care of me for a few weeks, then released me. Amazing..."

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

'I really can't think of a blessed thing to preach about this morning, so I'll entertain questions from the floor.'

"If you're not a good boy, Santa will bring you only educational toys."

"I've given blood about 20 times. . ."