Saint Scoffers Gifts

"Paul is a saint, Minneapolis, no way!!"

Tiny Visions

Punk Reindeer

"That's the preacher's dog."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

Next World Tours

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

'Just tell him you've been good. Don't overdo it.'

Virgin Mary: World's Best Mom.

"Found it when I was digging the garden...."

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

'Reverend, my husband didn't make it to church today. Could I have a list of the sins you mentioned in your sermon?'

About Santa 2017.

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

Saint George's Day: 'You can understand why they made him England's Patron Saint.'

"I have a rich and generous son who wants to contribute to the heavenly fund."

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

'He sees me when I'm sleeping, he knows when I'm awake...'

'HA! Just as I thought! These are DAD'S fingerprints, not SANTA'S.'

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

"... Santa, eh? Do you have any form of identification?"

"Dad, how does Santa Claus visit all the children in the world in one night?"

'I did some investigating. The guy is an actor.'

'-if it wasn't you at 'Toys-R-Us then it was your double!'

Latte Day Saints

Things to do in the area.

It was clear that, once again, Lyle was not being nominated for sainthood.

"The Motor Vehicle Department had some concerns for my safety."

The underwriter was suspicious of all the dodgy Clauses.

'Is this guy serious?'

Kissing Under The Misanthrope