Sailor Admirer Gifts

God save the Queen.

"There it is - 'GSOH', gay salior one hand, 'WLTM', wooden leg to match'!"

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

Piracy on a boating lake

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

"We seem to be going round in circles!"

"The moment he told me he lived in a lighthouse, I knew he was a keeper."

A meeting on the pier

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'

On board the MS Hepatology

Lighthouse attracts ships like moths

Caution to People About to Be Photographed on the Sands at the Seaside.

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

A paper aeroplane flies off a ship

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

"What a beautiful day to set sail!"

Woodpecker Ark.

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

Have a very piratical Birthday

No Shoes, No Service.

The Bonvoy Age...

Captain of ship, surrounded by rough drafts and scrunched-up pieces of paper, says: 'Dammit bosun, we can't set sail without a coherent mission statement.'

"Sorry. He's been cursing like that ever since we put him in that little sailor suit."

'You're right Sir... it is the Flying Dutchman.'

'Don't leave behind any D-N-A. Or E-Y-E, A-R-M or L-E-G.'

'No, no that's not what I mean by trim the motor!'

Jolly Roger Inn Toilets - has small parrot urinal on the wall.

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'Howard likes everything to be ship shaped.'

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

"My wife got the sails in the divorce."

'Ta da! Sailing in a row-boat!'

Joe's Foot-long Subs: A Man discovers he has been given a little real Submarine.

SS Superhero

'On my shoulder, stupid!'