Sailor Gifts

'He's building a yacht in his basement.'

"So are we clear, Lads? No more saluting."

Lifeboats

"I just think it sends the wrong message."

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

Ships about to hit the fan....

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

My First Boat

'I said I like a good sale.'

'This is my new boat. I finally succumbed to pier pressure.'

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

"Look, if you must go down to the seas again, to the lonely seas and sky, then go!But take your BlackBerry."

'Women and children first!'

'Captain! - Captain! Trouble at the pointy bit!'

'The tip of the iceberg.'

'This is no time to be washing your hair,Margaret!'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"It's just not been the same since the visit from the Health & Safety Officer."

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

"Admit it, we're nowhere near Penzance!"

"So gentlemen, new ship, new crew, what say we start our inaugural team meeting with an ice-breaker?"

Wooden ship with large Advertising sails for Seasickness, scurvey, mutiney

"Oh, I forgot to mention. A nice man came round this morning and changed that nasty big bulb for an energy efficient one."

Boat Christening vs. Boat Bris

'Attention!! All hands on deck!'

"Always the last place you look."

'I don't want to imply that your boat is slow, but that tortoise just passed us.'

'Maybe I should abandon my crew and keep all the treasure for myself!'

"Did you just hear a cow?"

The Nor'easter Bunny.

'I need a cure for seasickness.'

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

'You remind me of the ocean. . . you make me sick.'

"Which way to the tug convention, honey?"

"The crew is getting restless, captain."