Sailor Gifts

"Maybe we need a scarier flag."

'He's building a yacht in his basement.'

"So are we clear, Lads? No more saluting."

Lifeboats

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

"I just think it sends the wrong message."

"Ahab I'm not familiar with. Ever taste Captain Hook?"

Ships about to hit the fan....

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

My First Boat

'I said I like a good sale.'

'That was a brilliant idea you had to hire a motivational speaker, Rolf. We must be doing 15 knots.'

'This is my new boat. I finally succumbed to pier pressure.'

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

'Women and children first!'

"Look, if you must go down to the seas again, to the lonely seas and sky, then go!But take your BlackBerry."

'Captain! - Captain! Trouble at the pointy bit!'

'The tip of the iceberg.'

'This is no time to be washing your hair,Margaret!'

"It's just not been the same since the visit from the Health & Safety Officer."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

"Admit it, we're nowhere near Penzance!"

"So gentlemen, new ship, new crew, what say we start our inaugural team meeting with an ice-breaker?"

"Oh, I forgot to mention. A nice man came round this morning and changed that nasty big bulb for an energy efficient one."

'Attention!! All hands on deck!'

Boat Christening vs. Boat Bris

Wooden ship with large Advertising sails for Seasickness, scurvey, mutiney

"Always the last place you look."

'I don't want to imply that your boat is slow, but that tortoise just passed us.'

The Nor'easter Bunny.

'Maybe I should abandon my crew and keep all the treasure for myself!'

'I need a cure for seasickness.'

"Did you just hear a cow?"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'