Sage Smudging Devotee Gifts

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

British savings accounts

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

That party went well.

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Voltaire

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Justice

The 11th Commandment

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

Bishop with a crozier case.

God finger

How To Cut The Defense Budget

Greek Tragedy: 'Yes... we agree to further cuts in government spendings..!!!'

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

Manspreading in Art

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

"Do you ever get to the point where you think if you read another book you'll burst, but you do anyway, and you don't burst?"

'Plant a tree, build a house, father a child and make sure that there is a good lawyer in your closest circle of friends.'

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"You know the rules, if you can't pay my fee I shall have to eat you."

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

"Either the crystal ball's had it or you have."

'Your honor, my client only broke into the museum because he had an art attack.'