Safety Snarker Pillows

'Well I think we've nearly broken the back of this 'risk assessment'.'

'These childproof vials! I CAN'T GET MY TRANQUILIZERS OPEN!!'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

Safety Barriers

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

Laboratory- risk assessor

"I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping."

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

Big bumpers.

Turtle crashes, deploys airbag.

"'Superman legacy' was awful. Just awful!"

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'I'm okay with this... I'm not a risktaker.'

Safe harbour

'No, you cannot borrow the car.'

A man on a beach looks at a sign in front of the water that reads "No swimming beyond this point".

Fireworks Stand: 'Safe, but INSANE Fireworks.'

"Oh really, Gerald! You're removing honey from the hives, not plutonium!"

'Dont' operate any rocks or sticks while you're using this medication.'