Safety Snarker Pillows

'Well I think we've nearly broken the back of this 'risk assessment'.'

'These childproof vials! I CAN'T GET MY TRANQUILIZERS OPEN!!'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

Safety Barriers

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

"I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping."

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

One Thing is Free

Turtle crashes, deploys airbag.

Big bumpers.

"'Superman legacy' was awful. Just awful!"

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

Laboratory- risk assessor

'I'm okay with this... I'm not a risktaker.'

"You no longer have to worry about me dropping my phone. The new phone comes with an airbag."

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

A man on a beach looks at a sign in front of the water that reads "No swimming beyond this point".

'No, you cannot borrow the car.'

The First Art Critic