Sitcom Snarker Pillows

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

One Thing is Free

"'Superman legacy' was awful. Just awful!"

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

The First Art Critic

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

'Waiter, this salad is obnoxious!' 'But, sir — you asked for French dressing!'

Usher

More Ideas for Term Limits

'Don't kid yourself. If you're too ugly to be cooked, they'll grind you up into one of those fish protein concentrates.'

"My compliments to yhe liquidator - that was terrible."

"Batman v Superman" was just awful. Just AWFUL! Wait

"How to Look, Feel & Sound like Shit"

'Well I think we've nearly broken the back of this 'risk assessment'.'

"And the winner of the second clapper board electrician's assistant is..."

That Snake Talks Sense

"My compliments to your chefs - their broth was disgusting."

"One of those 'damn' foreigners will be along soon to carry out your prostate examination!"

'It's a new reality show on the Women's Channel -- 'Stupid Husband Tricks.''

'Maybe I give off a little ammonia, but at least I don't smell like people!'

"The Breakfast of Politicians. Low in character and moral fiber."

"I just don't have it in me today..." "Well, aren't you the lucky one."

"I really prefer the place across the street. The cockroaches are smaller."

"It's to help you stop the late-night snacking."

'These childproof vials! I CAN'T GET MY TRANQUILIZERS OPEN!!'

"That's the trouble with all these classic movies...they're all reruns!"