Sitcom Snarker Pillows

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

"'Superman legacy' was awful. Just awful!"

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

'Waiter, this salad is obnoxious!' 'But, sir — you asked for French dressing!'

Usher

'Don't kid yourself. If you're too ugly to be cooked, they'll grind you up into one of those fish protein concentrates.'

"My compliments to yhe liquidator - that was terrible."

"How to Look, Feel & Sound like Shit"

'Well I think we've nearly broken the back of this 'risk assessment'.'

"My compliments to your chefs - their broth was disgusting."

"One of those 'damn' foreigners will be along soon to carry out your prostate examination!"

'It's a new reality show on the Women's Channel -- 'Stupid Husband Tricks.''

'Maybe I give off a little ammonia, but at least I don't smell like people!'

"The Breakfast of Politicians. Low in character and moral fiber."

"I just don't have it in me today..." "Well, aren't you the lucky one."

"I really prefer the place across the street. The cockroaches are smaller."

'These childproof vials! I CAN'T GET MY TRANQUILIZERS OPEN!!'

"That's the trouble with all these classic movies...they're all reruns!"