Stellar Snarker Pillows

'Maybe I give off a little ammonia, but at least I don't smell like people!'

"That's the preacher's dog."

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

Theory of Gravity

One Thing is Free

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

"'Superman legacy' was awful. Just awful!"

'Asteroid, asteroid!' ... 'Fore!'

The final proof that they were closer to humans than we ever thought.

The First Art Critic

'Waiter, this salad is obnoxious!' 'But, sir — you asked for French dressing!'

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

"Gesundheit!"

More Ideas for Term Limits

'Don't kid yourself. If you're too ugly to be cooked, they'll grind you up into one of those fish protein concentrates.'

Suddenly, God gets the urge for an Earth cream cone.

"My compliments to yhe liquidator - that was terrible."

"Batman v Superman" was just awful. Just AWFUL! Wait

"Only 200 steps? But I've been chasing a buck all day long!"

"How to Look, Feel & Sound like Shit"

"My compliments to your chefs - their broth was disgusting."

That Snake Talks Sense

'Well I think we've nearly broken the back of this 'risk assessment'.'

"And the winner of the second clapper board electrician's assistant is..."

"I just don't have it in me today..." "Well, aren't you the lucky one."

"The Breakfast of Politicians. Low in character and moral fiber."

"If men are from Mars, women must be from Hershey".

"I really prefer the place across the street. The cockroaches are smaller."

'These childproof vials! I CAN'T GET MY TRANQUILIZERS OPEN!!'