Safety Savvy Pillows

'Yep, this model was recalled. But you're the first customer to bring back a used one.'

'Yeah, I thought it was a great idea, too, until that day I had an eyelash caught in my eye.'

"Gee, you smell good. What are you wearing?" "Pepper spray."

"There's no money in restaurants anymore, it's all about procurement now."

So it's agreed then, we should move health and safety to the top of our agenda."

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

'I don't know Melissa, you said a bb gun was more dangerous!'

"Is that really necessary?"

A young Don King

You Are Here

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Man using to much bug spray

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

No Immediate Danger

On the brink.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."