Safety Regulation Nerd Gifts

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

Speeding Forklift

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Eco-Terrorism

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

I threw my back out picking up the guidelines

Health and safety officer Hedley seconds before he became ex-health and safety officer...

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

European Union versus Big Tech

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

Man sees danger of death sign. Arrows from sign are locked up.

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'Run this by 'Legal,' but sprint it by 'Ethics.''

"Of course not everyone believes in all the health and safety rules....Jim here thinks it's all complete nonsense!"

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

'Shouldn't take long for your new fitting, Sir.'

'It's a new federal safety regulation. We have to slide a mattress behind you before we hand you your bill.'

All items year zero compliant

Book in library - 'Crash tests for dummies' (being read by a crash test dummy).

Test dummies in car, "Oh my god dave, look out for that wall!"

'I'm sorry to disturb you, but new health and safety rules prohibit me from climbing down your chimney.'

'I love being a building inspector.'

CAUTION ANTI-CLIMB PAINT

'But in all fairness, Ms Frimley, the guillotine isn't intended as an interactive display.'

'Apparently it's not suitable for the elderly or children...'

"Then we'll just mark it 'Do not shake before using'."

Jerry, incoming!

Idiot Driver Sensor System.

"The car you were conceived in was in an accident, but you weren't an accident."

Caution - Wet Floor.