Safety Measures Pillows

'He's accident prone... he just poked himself in the eye with his safety-glasses!'

Start of the school year

'You're allergic to medical allergy bracelets.'

Social distancing

Wearing face masks correctly

Actually without the mask, I look a lot like Brad Pitt

Barber has strapped boy in barber chair with a safety belt.

'It's better than Prozac. I no longer worry about the ozone layer, sulfur dioxide, ultraviolet rays...'

'The management of this shop take the threat of swine flu in their stride.'

'Just checking my anti-rape alarm...'

'I see it as an adventure Joe...and the best adventures are the ones that challenge you...Ah...and this would explain your collection of hazmat suits.'

'Summon the company nurse. I just got a nasty paper cut while reading this book.'

(Beware of the dog)

Eat lunch with the hardhats.

Fire Marshall Chanukah

"Make sure your dog has a place he can go to where he feels safe and secure."

"At what point does outdoor dining become indoor dining?"

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

Hypochondriac's rule #6: take care with utensils

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Man using to much bug spray

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

On the brink.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."