Safety Procedures Pillows

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Procedures

'Don't you think this school has way too many fire drills?'

Break Glass in Case of Fire: Tiny Firemen.

'Do not be alarmed... this is only a drill!'

Stewardess advising passengers to fix aeroplane with duct tape if any problems.

Worker reading instructions on how to put out fire while smoke billows all around him.

Health and Safety

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Man using to much bug spray

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

The new normal

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

On the brink.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'