Safety Instructor Gifts

"How can a hands-free phone be dangerous? I just don't see it!"

Vacuum salesman has accidentally sucked up the baby during a demo - '...And now let me demonstrate the incredible suction power of the Supa-Vac...'

Safety - Heimlich Manoeuvre.

'This is Tom's second speech on how to hunt safely. Unfortunately, I missed his first speech.'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

"First, locate the pin on your extinguisher..."

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

Driving Habits - Past and Present.

Sand danger

'How to clean a loaded gun.'

"Remember, coat that's furry not to worry. Pitchfork, shovel, deadly trouble."

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Time Out For Teddy

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

Nuclear waste.

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

The hall of bad ideas.