Safety First Squad Pillows

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and fast.'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Reasonableman

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"Here comes the super-visor."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

Contagious Diseases.

'Never shoot straight up.'

Dept of Health and Safety founder was accident victim.

"Now just hold on a minute, fellers. This thing doesn't look to be very safe at all."

'He swallowed a warning label!'

'I'm on beach-patrol today: It's sunscreen in there...'

'Next time you lose your keys, please call a locksmith instead of blowtorching the door.'

"...this one has even a little emergency phone to ring the hospital if you cut yourself."

Barber has strapped boy in barber chair with a safety belt.

'Never thought I'd see you again - you really must have nine lives.'

"To play it safe, I've stopped shaking hands and hugging."

Man wearing bullet proof vest to protect himself against pool players

"Mom is an ER nurse."

'It's the law. Everybody wears seat belts.'

The second law of barbecuing. Both brilliantine & aftershave are flammable.

Fasten your seatbelts