Safety First Savant Pillows

"First, locate the pin on your extinguisher..."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Reasonableman

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"Here comes the super-visor."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and fast.'

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

"Sorry I'm late. I forgot the PIN number I need to get my brain going."

'Never shoot straight up.'

Contagious Diseases.

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

"You think they all look like security risks."

Dept of Health and Safety founder was accident victim.

"You haven't seen security till you've seen it on the iPad 2."

'He swallowed a warning label!'

"Now just hold on a minute, fellers. This thing doesn't look to be very safe at all."

I just don't trust those self-flying brooms yet.

"...this one has even a little emergency phone to ring the hospital if you cut yourself."

"If we hire you, Sanders, you'll find that when it comes to security, we don't fool around."