Safety Evangelist Pillows

'Don't play with firework(ers).'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

Reasonableman

AI Safety Officer

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"Careful."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"The sky looks blue because your protective lenses are tinted, dear."

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

Boozing and Cruising

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'